


love's pain, love's pleasure

by natodiangelo



Category: The Alchemist's Touch - Garrett Robinson
Genre: Awkward Crush, Canon Compliant, First Kiss, Getting Together, M/M, Mild Angst, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, its just some cute guys being gay, theren tries as best she can to get them together, you dont need to have read the book to understand this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2018-05-19
Packaged: 2019-05-09 02:59:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14707839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/natodiangelo/pseuds/natodiangelo
Summary: "I'm in love with Kalem.""And?"Ebon blinked. "And?"Theren gave him a look. "We're all well aware how wet you are for Kalem, Ebon. What's actually bothering you?"





	love's pain, love's pleasure

**Author's Note:**

> anyways no one has ever heard of this book and i havent even finished it but i loved the characters so fucking much and this happened so please read the book

"Adara," Ebon said, and she looked over at him questioningly from where she sat beside him on the bed. "I think I have a problem." 

And, indeed, he did; and so he told her of it, in detail, and though it pained him to admit, he might have weeped a little, and at the end she took his hand comfortingly in her own. 

"Ebon," She said, and wiped one soft hand across his face to remove any lingering tears. "I cannot tell you what to do; all I can offer is words of condolence and comfort." Ebon nodded, and though he expected no different, there had been a part of him that had hoped, feebly, that she could give him the answers he needed. "I do not think that this desire in is vain. I have not met that person, but knowing you, Ebon, as I do, I do not imagine this being unrequited." 

"How can you be sure?" Ebon asked.

"I cannot," Adara said. "All I can say is to not give up hope." 

Ebon left shortly after that, and though the conversation had given him little comfort, he resigned himself to having to deal with it on his own. The Seat at that time of night was dark and quiet, the only noise and light coming from taverns and inns where people tended to congregate, searching for the release of alcohol. He crept quickly along the streets, and it was only mildly concerning that the turns to get there and back had already become ingrained in his mind. 

As he approached the Academy walls, a figure stepped out of the shadows. For a moment, Ebon froze, heart beating loudly, until he recognized Theren's features and her wildly mischievous grin. The look on her face told Ebon she knew exactly why he was out so late, but he did not have the energy to deal with her teasing tonight, so he turned and quickly stalked away. 

"Oh, what? You embarrassed to be caught out so late?" Theren called. He ignored her, but, to his misfortune, she jogged to catch up and threw an arm around his shoulders. "Coming back from the house of lovers? I can smell the perfume on you." 

"Fuck off, Theren." He shoved her arm off.

"Woah," she said. "What's got your crotch all tied up? Didn't actually get to go, huh? Or, should I say come?" 

He stopped walking suddenly, and Theren nearly walked into his back. He whirled on her with an angry look. "No, I didn't, Theren. I was upset, and so my lover listened to me and helped comfort me. Unlike some  _ friends _ I have." 

Theren balked, then frowned. "What's wrong, Ebon?" 

He continued walking. "I don't wish to talk about it." 

"Obviously you do. Otherwise you would have gotten laid tonight." 

"It's really none of your business." 

"Oh, it really  _ is _ my business." 

Ebon reached the part of the wall where he knew the stone was thin. It had become his secret passage for the last few months, as he made trips out into town, either because of his father or of his own regard. But before he could pass through, Theren stepped into his way. He glowered at her. 

"I'm not moving until you tell me what's up." She said. 

"I'm not telling you anything until you let me inside." 

They stared off for a moment. Then, perhaps Theren finally caught wind of just how bad of a mood Ebon really was in, or perhaps she was just lenient tonight, but she stepped aside. 

"Let me help you in." 

With her magic it wasn't long until they were both safely inside the school and walking toward the dormitories. Once outside of his common room, he sighed. 

"I will tell you," Ebon said, "If you promise not to repeat it. Ever. To  _ anyone."  _

"Done, done, done." Theren said. "Now, tell me." 

"I'm in love with Kalem." 

"And?" 

Ebon blinks. "And?" 

Theren gave him a look. "We're all well aware how wet you are for Kalem, Ebon. What's actually bothering you?" 

"That  _ is _ what's actually bothering me." Ebon said, increasingly more frustrated. "And you know very well  _ why _ it bothers me. Kalem is – well, he's  _ Kalem. _ I can't imagine him liking – liking someone like  _ me. _ So I have to get over it. I won't risk this friendship." He added sarcastically, "Unlike you, I don't have an unlimited number of them." 

"Oh, Ebon," She said exasperatedly. "Get your head out of your ass." 

"What?" 

"Just – talk to him tomorrow. I promise you it's for the best." 

"And when has me going along with your plans ever turned out well?" 

"You're not dead yet, are you?" He can't deny that, and she knew it. "See? Just trust me." 

"Fine," Ebon said. "Fine. But now, I am going to bed."

 

* * *

When Ebon woke up the next morning, he wanted nothing more than to go back to sleep. 

"I'm not ready for this," He told the ceiling. Fortunately, or not, the ceiling did not respond. So he got up and got dressed and made his way down toward breakfast. 

He was early, as usual, and when he sat down there were only a few other students there. He picked at his food and tried not to think of the promise he had made to Theren the night before. 

He really wasn't able to see how that would work out. Kalem had had a crush on Theren earlier in the year, even. How was Ebon to know if Kalem even swung towards men? And, even if in a miracle of fate he did, what were the chances of Kalem actually liking him back? Slim, definitely, if not nonexistent. 

But, still.... Theren had seemed convinced that Ebon should talk to him. Perhaps...? He let his imagination run wild for a moment. Maybe, just maybe, Kalem also liked him. Maybe he went to Theren, for lack of anyone else to confide this information in, and told her. And, maybe, Theren kept that to herself, and that was why she laughed whenever Ebon left for the house of lovers, or called the library their "lovers nest" or any of the other things that she did. Maybe that was just her way of hinting toward them. 

But. 

That was too easy. Too kind. The world had given Ebon many mercies, but this one felt too hefty a pleasantry to be gifted to him, after everything else. 

Thankfully, or not, Theren and Kalem soon joined him and broke him away from his rumination. 

"Are you quite alright, Ebon?" Kalem asked as he sat down. "You look a little flushed." 

"Perhaps I'm coming down with something," he lied, quickly taking a bite of his food. 

"I do hope not. Exams are coming up; it would be a terrible time to become sick." 

Theren nodded solemnly, as if she had ever cared about exams, or ever cared for Ebon, for that matter. In fact, when had she ever acted solemn to begin with? 

"Best to be careful," Theren said. "Make sure to stay warm at night." And she  _ winked. _

If legally permitted, Ebon would have killed her. 

"I stay perfectly warm all on my own, thank you very much." He nearly growled. She gave him an innocent look. Kalem looked between the two of them with concern. 

"Are you two fighting again?" Kalem asked. "You fight much too often. It isn't good for you." 

"You're telling me," Ebon mumbled to himself. Theren patted a comforting arm on Kalem's shoulder. 

"Don't worry yourself over us," She told him. "Rather, don't worry about me. Ebon is the one who may be quite possibly sick." 

_ "Possibly, _ " Ebon emphasized. "Only possibly. Don't worry about me." 

"Okay,  _ really _ . What is up with you two?" Kalem said. He stared carefully between the both of them, and the little crease between his brows and the way his nose scrunched up was incredibly cute. Even the purse of his lips was endearing. Ebon felt himself becoming even more flushed, and in a rush of embarrassment he stood up loudly, drawing more than his own table's occupant's eyes. 

"I'm-" He said thickly. "Going to the... bathroom." 

And he left. 

He didn't, in fact, go to the bathroom, which wasn't far from the dining hall; he instead made his way toward the dormitories, where he planned on spending the rest of the day. Classes, studying – even the possibility of scorn from his teachers (mostly, he admitted to himself, just Jia) did nothing to sway his mind. He wanted to lay down and forget about the day all together. 

The common room outside the dorms had only a few lingering students, the rest down at the dining hall or on their way to class. The dorm itself was empty, for which he was intensely grateful. He laid himself down on his bed and stared at the ceiling. 

He wasn't even entirely sure what he was feeling, if he was being completely honest. Embarrassed. Confused. Possibly fearful. Afraid of the imminent rejection looming over his head, afraid of being alone again. Theren, he thought, wouldn't desert him entirely, but though he thought he knew Kalem well, he couldn't tell how the boy would react. 

If Kalem did not return the feelings, which was very likely, what would he do? Would they be able to continue being friends? Or would their friendship end, either through outright discomfort on Kalem's end, or by mutual awkwardness? Would Kalem be upset with him over it?

Thoughts like that spiraled in Ebon's mind, out of his control, until all at once it overwhelmed him. Tears sprung to his eyes. He clenched them tightly closed and rolled onto his side. 

Eventually, it seemed, he fell asleep. He woke up to blue eyes and a flash of red in his face. 

"K...alem?" He mumbled, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Kalem stands worried at the edge of his bed, hands held tightly together and brows furrowed. 

"Ebon," He says. "I think you have become sick. Your eyes are red, and I've never seen you sleep this much." He paused, then added: "I'm going to call an instructor and have you taken to the infirmary." 

"Kalem, I'm fine." Ebon said. 

"But-" 

"It was a lie." Kalem blinked. Ebon quickly comes up with an excuse. "I was- out late, last night. At the house of lovers." Not exactly the truth, but not fully a lie. "I thought you might disapprove, so I went along with what you said." 

"Oh." 

"I apologize." 

"No- there's no need." Kalem said. "What you do with your time is your business. But- it's not good to miss class." 

"What time is it?" Ebon asked, suddenly acutely aware that he had just woken up. 

"Nearly time for supper." Kalem answered. "I thought perhaps you had sat somewhere else for our afternoon class, but afterwards I couldn't find you, so I came here." 

"I did not mean to sleep so long," Ebon said, rubbing his eyes once again. "I shall be more careful about my... nightly affairs." 

"Please do." Kalem said. Then, in a quite Kalem sort of way, he purses his lips again and looks awkwardly around. "Well- I shall leave you be, then. But you must eat with us at dinner." 

"I will," Ebon promised. "I'll find you and Theren." 

"Alright." 

And with that, Kalem was gone.

 

* * *

Ebon tried as best he could in the following weeks to ignore the pressing feelings that crowded into his chest. Even the butterflies that fluttered every time Kalem so much as looked at him were not enough to loosen his lips, for the fear he had kept everything closed up and locked down. He even began to think that, perhaps, the feelings would go away and leave him to be at peace and enjoy his friend's company. 

Theren, as well as the universe, seemed to have different plans. 

It was late into an evening of chatting when it happened. They were bunked out in Theren's dorm, the three of them, as she was nearly graduated, and as such they gave each student their own room. They were sprawled out across her bed as they talked. 

"So," She said eventually, as one conversation topic lulled and a new one was needed. "Aside from Mr. House of Lovers here, we haven't much discussed romance, have we?" 

Suddenly, Ebon had a very bad feeling. 

"Theren-" He tried, but she shushed him. 

"Well, Kalem? You have your eye on anyone in particular?" 

Kalem's eyes were wide and his face was slowly reddening. It was incredibly attractive, and Ebon could feel himself begin to flush. 

"I... well..."

"Hmm?" Theren asked, leaning closer. "I didn't quite hear that." 

"I - um, well-" Kalem swallowed. "I mean, I do have... someone in mind...." 

"Oho!" Theren threw her head back and laughed before rounding once more on the poor boy. "Who is it? Someone we know?" 

Kalem nodded slowly. 

"Who?" Theren asked again. "There isn't a large pool to search through, as goldbags here doesn't know many people." 

"I'm- not telling." 

"Oh, come on!" Theren slumped against the wall. "You're no fun. Well, what about you, Ebon? S'there someone other than your oh so perfect lover?" 

Ebon tried to look less embarrassed than he felt, though he was sure he failed. "Yes." 

Kalem looked at him excitedly, but bit it back; even Ebon could tell he was trying not to sound interested when he asked, "Who?" 

But Ebon wasn't going to say. Of course he wasn't. "I won't tell unless you do." 

Theren grinned. "A challenge! Well, Kalem? Will you reveal your hidden love?" 

After a moment, Kalem quietly shook his head. 

"Oh, you killjoy." Theren smacked her hand lightly on Kalem's shoulder. "Have some fun, won't you!" 

"Why don't you share your love, Theren?" Ebon interjected. Theren grinned at him. 

"With pleasure."

 

* * *

They were in the library studying. It was their usual routine: Kalem had him practice with the stick a few times every hour, broken up by reading. Ebon would ask Kalem to show off some of his own magic, and he would agree, and then Ebon would try to practice that and fail. It wasn't quite as disheartening as the failure once felt, but he had such little patience that it was frustrating how slow the learning was going. 

But today was different. Their conversation last night was still fresh in Ebon's mind, and it wouldn't leave him alone. In fact, he had plans to confront Kalem about it today. He thought that perhaps one on one, Kalem might feel more comfortable to share who it was that he liked. 

Honestly, Ebon was hoping it was himself. A selfish desire, he knew, but one he couldn't deny. He contemplated simply confessing himself today, casually, as he brought up the conversation. But he still wasn't sure. 

"Kalem," He began. Kalem barely looked up from the book he was in. "I was wondering something." 

"Hm?" 

"You said that you liked someone, last night-" He said. "I was wondering if you didn't say anything because Theren was there." 

Kalem slowly put his book down. "No - I, um. It wasn't because Theren was there." 

"Would you mind telling me who it is that you like?" Ebon asked. Kalem looked at him in surprise. 

"You- want to know?" 

"Of course." Ebon said. "We're best friends, aren't we?"

_ Though _ , Ebon thought,  _ I would rather we were boyfriends.  _

Kalem stayed quiet, staring down at his hands. The silence dragged on long enough that Ebon began to feel bad. He brought up a conversation that had obviously made Kalem uncomfortable just for his own selfish purposes. He couldn't believe himself. Guilt quickly made a home in his chest, and he tried to find a way to dispel it. 

"I'm sorry," He said quickly. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." 

Kalem jumped, as if he had forgotten Ebon was there at all. Then, he shook his head. "No- it's, it's okay." He took a breath and let it out slowly. 

"Seriously, let's just – forget it." 

Kalem looked around quickly, then whispered. "You're the one I like, Ebon." 

Ebon froze. 

"You-"

But Kalem had already stood up and run away.

 

* * *

It took Ebon hours to find him. He searched the whole Academy – crept down dark hallways deep in the center, nearby the more advanced classrooms; swept through the dining hall and all the bathrooms; he even went into the common room and asked any student sitting around if they had seen him. But nothing. 

It was not until he decided to search outside and began in the direction of the main entrance that he found him. 

Kalem sat in an alcove in the wall, in some remote corner just off the main hall. He sat facing the tapestry that hung in the alcove, knees up to his chest, head down. Ebon's heart ached seeing the small tremors across his shoulders. 

"Kalem." The boy jumped at his name, but did not turn. Ebon knelt down behind him and put a careful hand on his shoulder. "Are you okay?" 

It was a stupid thing to ask, especially when Kalem turned slightly and Ebon could see the glissen of tear tracks down his face. "What do you think?" He asked sharply. 

"Kalem, you ran before I could say anything, but-" 

"You don't need to say anything." Kalem told him. "I already know – you have your lover out there and she's all you need. Why would you like some scrawny nerd like me?" 

"Kalem-" 

"You don't need to rub it in," Kalem said. "I already know how – how useless this is. I wanted to – to just, ignore it until it went away. But it didn't." 

"Kalem, I-" 

"Ever since you first came up to me in the library." Kalem's voice became very quiet. "Ever since we first met. You were so kind to me. I couldn't help but fall in love." 

"Me, too." Ebon said. Kalem looked up suddenly, eyes red, surprised. "I like you, too." 

"You – you do?" 

"Of course. Why wouldn't I?" 

"This isn't some – some kind of joke? Theren didn't put you up to it?" 

"No." Ebon leaned in closer so he could wrap an arm around Kalem's shoulders. "I like you. No joke. None at all." 

And Kalem began to cry again. 

"K-kalem? Are you okay?" Ebon asked worriedly. Kalem hiccuped a small laugh. 

"I'm just – overwhelmed. I never – I never imagined that I – that you –" He took a deep breath, wiped the tears from his face, and said clearly. "I never imagined that you would like me too." 

"I felt the same about you." 

Kalem leaned his head against Ebon's shoulder, and Ebon reached out to pull him into a warm hug. Soon, the tension in Kalem's shoulders eased and all that was left of the tears was the redness that hung around his eyes. 

"Kalem," Ebon said. "Can I kiss you?" 

Kalem's eyes widened. "You – you want to?" 

"Yes, I do." 

Kalem bit his lip. Then he nodded. 

Ebon kissed him. 


End file.
